For many people, the holidays bring warmth, connection, and meaningful traditions. For others, the season can also amplify stress, sadness, loneliness, grief, and conflict. When those feelings show up but don’t meet the threshold of a major depressive episode, people often refer to it as the “holiday blues.”
What “holiday blues” can look like
Holiday blues can show up differently in adults and children, but the patterns are familiar:
Adults may notice
- Low mood, irritability, tearfulness, or emotional “numbness.”
- Sleep changes (too much or too little), fatigue
- Increased anxiety, rumination, or dread about events
- More conflict with family/partners
- Increased alcohol or comfort-eating
- Feeling “behind,” guilty, or like you’re disappointing others
Children and teens may notice
- More meltdowns, irritability, defiance, or “attitude.”
- Clinginess, separation anxiety, or sleep regression
- Headaches/stomachaches with no clear medical cause
- Withdrawal from family events, friends, or favorite activities
- Increased screen time as a coping strategy
- School-related anxiety before/after break transitions
The data: It’s more common than you think
A few high-level indicators underscore how widespread seasonal stress can be:
- Holiday stress is extremely common. In an APA holiday stress survey, nearly 9 in 10 U.S. adults (89%) reported stress related to the season (including concerns like money, missing loved ones, and anticipated family conflict). American Psychological Association
- A significant portion of the report addresses the direct impact of the holidays on mental health. According to the American Psychiatric Association’s 2025 holiday poll, approximately 1 in 5 adults (21%) indicated that the holiday season adversely affects their mental well-being.
- Kids’ baseline anxiety rates are already substantial. CDC data indicate that about 11% of children ages 3–17 have current, diagnosed anxiety (data presented on CDC’s children’s mental health statistics page).
- Many children are already in care, or need it. A CDC/NCHS data brief reports that in 2021, 11.5% of children ages 5–17 received counseling or therapy from a mental health professional in the prior 12 months.
- Parent stress spills over to kids. The C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health found that 1 in 6 parents report high holiday stress, and 1 in 5 say their stress negatively affects their child’s enjoyment of the holidays.
Why the holidays can hit harder (even when things seem “fine”)
Holiday blues often come from a convergence of pressures:
- Financial strain and consumer pressure
- Family dynamics (old roles, unresolved conflict, different values)
- Grief and loss (empty chairs feel louder this time of year)
- Overcommitment and a disrupted routine (sleep, meals, exercise, school schedule)
- Seasonal factors (reduced daylight, less time outdoors)
- Social comparison (“everyone else looks happy”)
Practical tips to get through the holiday season
1) Set “good enough” expectations
Pick 1–3 priorities (e.g., one meaningful tradition, one social event, one self-care routine). Let the rest be optional.
Try this: Replace “It has to be perfect” with “It has to be good enough.”
2) Create boundaries you can actually keep
Boundaries work best when they are specific and behavioral.
- Time boundary: “We can stay until 6:30.”
- Topic boundary: “I’m not discussing parenting/weight/politics tonight.”
- Role boundary: “I’m not mediating arguments—let’s change the subject.”
3) Protect sleep and routine (especially for kids)
Kids often look “fine” until they’re overtired and overstimulated.
- Keep bedtime/wake time within a reasonable range
- Build in a quiet “buffer” time before/after events
- For teens: plan decompression time without shaming them for needing space
4) Plan for emotional triggers, not just logistics
If you know a gathering is tough, decide your coping plan in advance:
- Who is your “safe person” to text?
- Where can you take a 5-minute break?
- What’s your exit plan if things escalate?
5) Use simple mood anchors (small, repeatable habits)
Think “minimum effective dose”:
- 10-minute walk outside (daylight helps)
- A short strength or stretch routine
- Protein + water early in the day
- A “no phone for 15 minutes” reset
6) Talk to kids in a way that normalizes feelings
A helpful script:
- “A lot of people feel big feelings during the holidays—excited and stressed at the same time.”
- “If your body feels ‘too full’ of feelings, we can take breaks.”
- “You’re not in trouble for feeling overwhelmed. We’ll figure out what helps.”
7) Watch for signs it’s more than holiday blues
Consider getting support if symptoms:
- Last most days for 2+ weeks
- Cause major impairment (work, school, relationships)
- Include panic attacks, worsening substance use, or persistent hopelessness
If you or your child is in immediate danger or you’re worried about safety, call/text 988 (U.S.) for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
How counseling helps during the holidays (for adults, kids, and families)
Counseling can be especially effective during seasonal stress because it provides structure when life feels unstructured.
Common therapy goals this time of year
- Stress and anxiety management: coping skills, grounding strategies, panic tools
- Depression support: behavioral activation, CBT strategies, self-compassion skills
- Family conflict navigation: communication tools, boundary setting, role clarification
- Grief work: processing loss, creating meaningful rituals, reducing avoidance
- Parent coaching: practical scripts, co-regulation strategies, consistent limits
- Child/teen support: emotion regulation, social stress, school transition after break
What progress can look like
- Fewer blowups and shutdowns
- Clearer boundaries with less guilt
- Improved sleep/routine stability
- Feeling more present (less dread, less “white-knuckling” through events)
- A plan for January (when many people feel the post-holiday crash)
You Don’t Have to Push Through Alone
If you or your child are struggling this holiday season, reaching out for support can make a meaningful difference. Counseling can help you navigate stress, strengthen family connections, and enter the new year with clarity and resilience.
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